Chapter 4
Unable to contain his rising frustration any longer, Nathan raised his voice.
“For the four seasons you spend painting, both of you can live in comfort. Your uncle will have better medicine, and you can finally get a good night’s sleep.”
“Still…”
“Are you… worried someone might find out what you are?”
Nathan lowered his voice. Eden glanced around before reaching up to touch the two small bumps on his head. Each no larger than a pinky nail, they marked the spots where horns would grow. Eden, his uncle, and Nathan were all descendants of monsters who had survived the Great War. That was the real problem.
Eden gave a slight nod.
“That won’t happen.”
Nathan spoke with conviction.
“Of course you’ll have to be more careful once you’re inside, but your job is only to paint the palace grounds. You’ll hardly cross paths with anyone.”
Eden thought it was nothing more than an obvious attempt to reassure him. Keeping himself completely hidden was the only way to survive among humans for even one more day. Leaving the village where people believed he and his uncle were human and walking into the imperial court was practically suicidal.
“You’ll get to paint whatever you want, as much as you want. Do you even remember the last time you visited a garden?”
Undaunted, Nathan pressed on. Eden tried to recall when he had last visited the nearby garden. Around this time last year, maybe? Before painting, he always closed his eyes and pictured delicate petals in bloom, dense forests, gardens, the sky, and clouds. For someone whose body kept him trapped inside, every flight of fancy ended somewhere lush and green.
He felt like a caged bird, but what choice did he have? Even with the door wide open, he was a bird that had forgotten how to fly. And yet, if he went to the palace, he could paint whatever he wished.
Still, if his identity as a monster were exposed, his uncle and Nathan were as good as dead. He was not the only one taking a risk. Nathan was putting his own life on the line to persuade him, all for the sake of Eden and his old friend. A tight knot formed in Eden’s throat, suffocating him.
“What about Uncle’s caregiver? What will we do about that?”
“I’ve already asked around for someone trustworthy. It’ll cost more, but the imperial stipend will cover it and then some.”
“Yes, but what if Uncle…”
As if anticipating the rest of Eden’s words, Nathan shook his head and gripped his shoulders firmly.
“Eden. No one will find out. The caregiver is a local, so there won’t be any suspicion. Even during his seizures, he only ever cries out a name nobody knows. He never breathes a word about our secret.”
Nathan tightened his grip on Eden’s shoulders.
“If you truly don’t want to go, I won’t force you. But you know it as well as I do, Eden. At this rate, neither you nor your uncle will last more than a few years. You’ll starve to death.”
Eden fell silent.
“Think it over carefully. I’ll stop by again next month. If you decide to go to the palace, have your things packed. You can come with me in my carriage.”
Eden lowered his head in silence. The answer was already clear.
* * *
The caregiver arrived the very week after Nathan left. He had thought it wise for the caregiver to spend time with Ian before Eden departed, as if he already knew Eden had made up his mind. The caregiver proved exceptionally adept at handling patients like Ian. Thanks to their tireless care, Eden was able to sleep in peace over the next few weeks.
Eden gave his uncle a vague excuse, saying he was going to paint the grounds of a nearby noble’s estate. The thought of Eden shouldering everything alone pained Ian, and he quietly helped pack his things without prying.
A month passed quickly.
“Eden, is that everything?”
Nathan looked at the bag, which seemed far too small to hold all of Eden’s belongings. Even with the weather warming, he thought Eden might have lived in far greater poverty than he had ever imagined if that was truly all he was taking.
“Yes, this is all of it.”
Eden answered self-consciously, as if reading Nathan’s thoughts.
“Alright, hand it over. I’ll load it into the carriage. Go say your goodbyes to your uncle and come outside.”
“Thank you, Nathan.”
Ian had only managed to fall asleep at dawn and still hadn’t woken. It was the same sight Eden saw every day. It was a life he had desperately wanted to escape, but looking at his uncle now made his eyes sting. Eden reached out and brushed Ian’s hair aside, then bent down to gently whisper in his uncle’s ear.
“Uncle, I’m heading out. Don’t be upset when you wake up and find me gone.”
Leaving the letter he had written by his uncle’s pillow, Eden stepped out of the house.
* * *
Throughout the week-long journey to the capital, Eden lived in a haze of sleep, as though trying to make up for every sleepless night he had ever endured. In the carriage, at the inns, and during brief roadside stops, his eyes were almost always closed.
Whenever Nathan looked at him, he just gently smiled instead of waking him. Only when they drew near the capital did Eden finally stir, peering out at the scenery drifting past. The carriage was rickety and rattled so violently that he bumped his head against the ceiling more than once. Yet Eden forgot the ache and stared spellbound at the sights he had never seen before.
“Eden, you’re going to drool if you keep that up.”
Nathan held back a laugh, watching Eden’s mouth hang open. Eden flushed with embarrassment, pulling himself back from the window to sit up straight.
The capital was entirely unlike the humble village where Eden had lived. The trees stood taller and were neatly trimmed, and the houses were so large and magnificent that calling them houses felt like an insult. Every alley was lined with vibrant flower beds brimming with fresh blossoms, all early spring flowers. From the sights he had seen today alone, Eden felt as though he had gathered enough inspiration to last for years.
“We’ll be arriving soon, so get ready to step out. We’ll stay at my place tonight, and tomorrow you’ll dress in clean clothes before entering the imperial palace. Bear that in mind.”
“Yes, Nathan. Thank you so much.”
Eden wanted to say more to thank him, but a lump rose in his throat, and he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt instead. Never one for words, he spent a long moment searching for the right thing to say.
“Thank you… I really mean it. For Uncle’s sake as well as mine.”
Eden spoke in a quiet voice, meaning every word.
“Think nothing of it. Besides, seeing how much you already like the capital puts my mind at ease. If you’re this taken with the streets, the palace gardens might just make you faint.”
“Will they be very grand?”
Eden asked eagerly. The garden he used to visit sat inside a park next to the marketplace, though it was closer to an empty lot than a park, and the garden itself was miserably bare. Even so, to Eden, that place had been like an entire forest.
He had never painted a fountain before. Would there be one in the garden he was to paint? Which flowers would be most plentiful? He had heard of gardens made up entirely of evergreen trees brought from the eastern continent. Could it be one of those? As Eden listened to Nathan, pure curiosity kept bubbling up inside him.
“Grand doesn’t begin to cover it! You’ll only regret that you can’t bring the paintings home with you.”
Before he knew it, Eden was thoroughly captivated by Nathan’s words. The mere thought of painting real greenery rather than imagined foliage made his heart race.
The carriage rattled onward, steadily making its way toward the heart of the capital. The sharp spires of the imperial palace, so colossal that their true scale was impossible to gauge, gradually drew closer. As the buildings grew larger, the streets filled with crowds. Carriages and pedestrians grew so numerous that Nathan could no longer pick up speed, allowing Eden to drink in every detail of the slowly passing scenery. He had to commit it all to memory, unsure of when he might ever see it again.
Just as the carriage passed a massive fountain, Eden could hardly believe his eyes.
Beside the nobles gathered around the fountain stood a monster with small horns. Startled, Eden quickly averted his eyes and looked down. If the horns were so clearly visible even from this distance, just how many times had that person’s true name been called? Eden caught his breath.
“Eden, are you alright?”
Nathan asked, following Eden’s gaze. Eden bit his lip, holding back a surge of emotion, and stole another glance outside. As the carriage rounded the fountain, he caught sight of a person collared like a dog. It was a black leather collar, entirely out of place against the dizzyingly opulent dress and jewelry. A stout man held the leash, laughing and chatting with those around him, while the collared figure simply stood still, eyes cast down at the ground.
“Don’t tell me that person is also…”
“Yes… they are.”
To think someone would put a leash on a person and drag them around like that. Eden’s face went pale with shock at a sight that defied all reason. People said monsters were treated worse than dogs, and it really was true.
“Eden, listen to me carefully. This place is nothing like the village where you grew up. People like us must be even more cautious. If anyone finds out you’re a monster, you’ll be killed without mercy or forced to live like them. Horrible as it is, that is our reality.”
“Nathan…”
“Keep your wits about you. Never… Never under any circumstances can you let them find out. Even if you cross paths with other monsters, do not pity them, and do not try to help them. Just pretend you don’t see anything. Do you understand?”
A chill ran down Eden’s spine. The eyes Nathan turned on him were those of someone who had witnessed far worse countless times, and they held the resolve to face death itself. Slowly, Eden nodded.
“As long as you are in the capital, you are not a monster. You are human. If someone strikes a monster before your eyes or brags about it, you must never waver. If you cannot bring yourself to play along, make an excuse and walk away. Because that is what humans do.”